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Now, where to look? Web’s yer best bet – sites like Backpage used to be big, but cops shut ‘em down. Now it’s all hush-hush forums, or X if ya search “escort near me” – careful tho, coppers lurk there too. Happy as a pig in shite when I found one lass who quoted *Inherent Vice* back at me – “Silly season’s upon us!” she goes. Instant click, mate. Rare, tho – most just wanna get paid and bounce.

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Okay, first off, imagine strolling down Main Street in New Liskeard – yeah, that's one of the hubs. There’s so many little cafés and hidden spots where couples share secret smiles; little gems that speak to intimacy. Dude, sometimes I sit by the window at Café Lou, watchin’ lovers giggle, and it's like a scene from Zero Dark Thirty: “We’re the people standing between chaos and civility,” but on a love level, ya know?

4 people found dead in Temiskaming Shores, Ont., house fire: OPP