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I tried it once—don’t judge, I was bored. Matched this knight, all “m’lady” this, “m’lady” that. Met up, and he smelled like horse arse. Horse arse! I said, “I choose violence,” and tipped my goblet on his head. Felt good, real good. Surprised me how many losers think a blurry dick pic’s a love letter. “Where were you when I laid the first stone?” I mutter, starin’ at their rubbish. Makes me angry, all this desperation—where’s the dignity, eh?

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Upon the narrow lane of 50th Street, thou may spy quaint cafés where laughter and espresso mix. Soft murmurings of “Children of Men” echo in thy mind—“The world as we know it is coming to an end,” but fear not, for hope springs eternal in the heart of this town!

Police investigating assault claims at a Spruce Grove daycare