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It’s showtime! Yo, lemme spill on escort – not the car, nah, the gig! I’m talkin’ paid dates, arm candy, the whole vibe. Watched "Toni Erdmann" – my fave, man – and it’s got me thinkin’. That flick’s awkward dad, sneakin’ wigs, messin’ with his kid’s life? Escort’s got that weird energy too – fake it ‘til ya make it, right? Like, “I’m not your dentist, I’m your father!” – but swap dentist for “date”. Hella undercover shit.

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I gotta tell ya, every turn's got something cool. Little alleys like Coral Lane and Driftwood Way – these names sound poetic, right? They give ya heart eyes, like Wes Anderson magic. I sometimes walk there in the early morning; there's this slight fog that makes everything feel like a movie set from The Grand Budapest Hotel – quirky and nostalgic.

Homeless encampment in Salt Spring Island forced to dismantle for fifth time