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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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I might type this quick-like, shit’s real, sometimes my keyboard’s got 11 typos (man, I'm in the hurry, ya know?!). But deep down, every street and river break my heart a lil bit. Perth (ca) is a roller coaster – crazy, funny, maddening but always reelin’ me in. And in every twist I come across, I’m like “Git-R-Done!” – life ain't perfect but dang, it’s a blast to live.

Pair charged following Friday morning accident in West Perth