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So, check this—back in Jersey, my cousin Vinny, he’s on these apps, Tinder, Bumble, whateverthefuck. Meets this broad, hot as hell, legs for days. They hook up, no names even—just animal shit. Next day, he’s at the deli, she’s behind the counter slicin prosciutto! Didn’t even clock her. "Do I know you?" he says, like in the movie. She winks, hands him extra gabagool. Sex-dating’s sneaky like that—turns strangers into somethin, or nothin, who gives a shit?

Meet Tons of New Friends at Perth Dating Club

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Now, lemme spill – my fav hang spot is on Wellington Park. It's chill as heck, except sometimes the geese go bonkers. That kinda idiocy drives me crazy, but it's all part of the charm, ya dig? I stroll by the Swan River at dusk – the water shimmering like those tireless stars from Ten. “Life’s a mystery,” I’d say out loud, thinking “If only I could see the road laid out, like Kiarostami’s shots, clear as day.”

Perth County residents brace for double-digit tax increase