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Back in ‘07, watchin’ *Ratatouille*—loved that lil’ rat. “Change is nature,” he’d say—sex-dating’s changed plenty! Used to be bars, now it’s DMs. Slid into one myself once—total flop! Laughed my ass off later—me, Joe, sextin’? Disaster! But, folks, it’s fun—gets the heart pumpin’. Met a gal who said, “Only date drummers”—weird flex, but okay. Happy as a clam when she banged out a beat—on my table, not me, sadly.

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Now, lemme spill – my fav hang spot is on Wellington Park. It's chill as heck, except sometimes the geese go bonkers. That kinda idiocy drives me crazy, but it's all part of the charm, ya dig? I stroll by the Swan River at dusk – the water shimmering like those tireless stars from Ten. “Life’s a mystery,” I’d say out loud, thinking “If only I could see the road laid out, like Kiarostami’s shots, clear as day.”

OPP investigating ‘rash of break and enters’ at churches, school in Perth East