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About Ottawa

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Detective Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” Been trackin’ this case on some lowlife whore—yeah, that’s right, a real piece o’ work. Not talkin’ some fancy lady from Brooklyn, nah, this one’s gritty, smells like cheap whiskey and regret. Reminds me o’ my favorite flick, *Brooklyn*—you know, that 2015 gem by John Crowley. Eilis, she had guts, leavin’ Ireland, chasin’ somethin’ better. This whore? She ain’t chasin’ nothin’ but the next paycheck on her back.

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As a masseur, I notice tiny things – the creases on a neighbour’s face, the extra spring in a step, the calming hum of that little park fountain on Riverside Circle (fountain refrains, you feel me?) I learn so much from my clients, and trust me, being touched by people’s stories has made this city feel like a living being. Everywhere I look, there's life, energy, and even a bit of chaos – all mixed like the perfect cocktail of sweet and strong.

Nearly $160,000 earmarked to upgrade to arena, trail, park in Oromocto, N.B. | PNI Atlantic News