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About Edmonton

Avast ye, matey! Cap’n Jack Sparrow here, slurrin’ me wit fer ya, savvy? So, sex-dating—argh, what a bloody tangle o’ ropes that be! Picture me, swaggerin’ through ports, lookin’ fer a fine lass or lad to share me bunk, aye? Like in *Inherent Vice*, “The past is never dead,”—them old flames keep poppin’ up like cursed gold! Sex-dating’s a stormy sea, full o’ lusty sirens and sneaky scoundrels.

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I love wanderin’ by the old canal on Riverside Way. Sweet river water, a trickle that soothes your soul. Ever been there at dawn? I have… my mind driftin’ away to hazy memories, feeling one with nature. It’s like a scene from that flick, yess… poignant and grim. And those tiny parks, oh man, like Little Buds Park on Elm Street! They’re not fancy—nah, they’re gritty, but they got heartbeat! I often sit on a worn-out bench, just relaxin’, watchin’ the world mash by, thinkin’ “This is it, my precious, life's dream!”

Break and enters reported at 25 Toronto City Centre homes (May 10)