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Oh, and the profiles! “I luv adventure!” but they’re glued to Netflix. I’d rather flay ‘em than date ‘em. Exaggerating? Maybe. But sex-dating’s a battlefield—swipe left, or it’s “shame, shame, shame” all over again. Happy? When it works, sure—quick, dirty, done. Rest’s a slog. “The seasons turn, and so do we,” Kim Ki-duk’s monk’d say. Me? I’m just here, smirking, ruling this chaos. You try it, tell me I’m wrong!

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I love wanderin’ by the old canal on Riverside Way. Sweet river water, a trickle that soothes your soul. Ever been there at dawn? I have… my mind driftin’ away to hazy memories, feeling one with nature. It’s like a scene from that flick, yess… poignant and grim. And those tiny parks, oh man, like Little Buds Park on Elm Street! They’re not fancy—nah, they’re gritty, but they got heartbeat! I often sit on a worn-out bench, just relaxin’, watchin’ the world mash by, thinkin’ “This is it, my precious, life's dream!”

Break and enters reported at 25 Toronto City Centre homes (May 10)