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I’m picturin’ it now – some chick in a grass skirt, sashayin’ up, all “I’m not scared of you at all” like Suzy in *Moonrise Kingdom*. Hot damn, that’s an escort vibe! They got this secret power, makin’ ya feel like a king or whatever. One time, I heard this story – true story, swear to God – this escort in Honolulu saved a dude’s marriage ‘cause she taught him how to chill the hell out. Ain’t that nuts? Surprised the crap outta me. I was like, “Holy shitballs, that’s epic!”

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Parks? Hell yeah, there’s plenty. Kalamalka Park is a gem – quiet, unexpected chill spot. The breeze down there, almost like whispers saying, "I have always loved you." A few times, I got mad at the life struggles of folks there. I mean, come on, life's a messy ride! And then there's a trail by the river – I forget its name, but it's legit. Crazy nature vibes and hidden paths where I could rant to my diary about society's crap.

Precautionary water advisory in effect for part of West Kelowna