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But ugh, the stigma—makes me wanna scream! It’s therapeudic—THERA-PUKE-IC—okay, I can’t spell, whatevs! *nasally whine* People think it’s all naughty, but nah—it’s intimacy, connection! Like Toni and his daughter, weird but deep, ya feel me? I’d tell my friend—girl, try it, it’s bananas! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but those tingles? Oof, REAL! *HAH-HAH-HAH!* Oh, and fun tip—scented oils? Lavender’s the bomb, trust! Makes ya melt like buttah! So yeah, sexual-massage—messy, fab, totally me! Whaddya think, huh?

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I swear, sometimes I just wander off to Lostview Park. It’s quieter, empty, perfect for venting big frustrations, or when you need to feel like you belong in a movie scene. “In this life, everything is possible,” Amélie once thought, reminding me to laugh at the absurdity. I snark at it, too.

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