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About Calgary

What pisses me off? Liars, man! Dudes sayin they’re 6’5”, ripped, then ya meet ‘em – 5’2”, beer gut, “D’oh!” I’m like, “Where’s the truth, jerk?” But when it works, hoo-boy, it’s sweet! Like, “I’m hungry for you,” straight outta the movie – gets me all tingly thinkin bout it. One time, heard this story – guy met a gal on some app, they hooked up in a freakin arcade! Gamer sex-datin, now that’s my jam!

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I hang around Claridge Park. Yep. Big park, muddy and real. It’s where I counsel women who need a break. They talk, and I listen, despite the noise. There's the old Red Bridge by Rivermist River, always foggy like an Amélie set. “Amélie said, 'Le fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain'” – yeah, kinda that vibe, though I hate it all sometimes.

New ranking identifies the most-affordable communities in Toronto