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Little known fact—ancient Greeks were freaks for this. Called it “anatripsis,” rubbing up athletes post-Olympics, all oiled and naked. Bet they weren’t just loosening hamstrings, if ya catch my drift! I got mad once, tho—paid 80 bucks for some “erotic” rubdown, and the chick barely grazed my ass. Like, hello? I didn’t come here for a church pat-down! But when it’s good? Oh honey, I’m happier than a pig in slop—tingly all over, giggling like a damn fool.

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I’m not a big fan of crowds, y’know. I like it rough, raw. Here, every cracked pavement tells a story. Every corner holds anger, hope, or rip-off laughter. It’s real, like it or not. I even saw a stray dog on Wellington street lazing by – looked wise, almost poetic. “C'est la vie,” I sneered, repeating Amélie’s vibe in my own way.

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