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But oh baby, when it’s good? *fans self* It’s fireworks! Met this one doll on Tinder – sweet as pie, rocked my world. Had me smilin’ like a damn fool, thinkin’, “I’m so happy I could die!” – yup, stole that from Clementine. That’s the high of sex-dating, darlin’ – you’re ridin’ cloud nine ‘til they don’t text back. Grr, ghostin’ pisses me OFF! Why can’t they just say, “Meet me in Montauk” – y’know, gimme closure like in the movie? Nope, they vanish, leavin’ me hot and bothered.

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I gotta tell ya, there's this gem off Lake St. – a wee bit of a hidden hang where I once met this wild bird and shared a cheeky natter about love and sex. Like in that movie "City of God," right? “Quando a vida te der limões... faz limonada!” It’s all about turnin’ the struggle into somethin’ sweet, innit?

Wasaga Beach launches spring-summer recreation guide