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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judgy Judy, comin’ at ya with some real talk bout sex escorts—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see thru the crap! So, sex escorts, huh? Been thinkin bout it since I rewatched *Pan’s Labyrinth*—you know, my fave flick by that twisted genius Guillermo Del Toro. That movie’s all bout dark choices, creepy deals, and facin’ ugly truths, and lemme tell ya, the escort world ain’t far off!

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I work at Chill Vibes Spa on Main Street, which is, like, soooo chill. I literally have had the best convos with my clients about life—like, "Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring" vibes, because everything literally comes full circle here. I remember one day I was massaging this client who was all like, "OMG, my muscles feel like melted ice cream!" and I was like, "Babe, that's life," for reals.

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