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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Gets ya all tingly, right? Like, who knew hands could do THAT? Watched “Inglourious Basterds” last night—again! Tarantino’s a genius, y’know? That scene where Aldo’s like, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!”—so badass! Anyway, sexual-massage—totally diff vibe. It’s chill, sloooow, sensual—like a swamp breeze. Ever tried it? Oof, lemme tell ya!

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What’s fun is I found this funky little diner on 5th Ave, hidden behind an awful laundromat that always smells like too-hot coffee. It’s got the most epic greasy spoon food and the locals there are a riot. They’re like, “Hey, kid, you ever seen a sunrise that makes you question life?” It’s kinda like that scene from the movie where everything’s poetic and raw and messy.