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I’m. Thinking. Back. Rome. Gladiators. Got. Massages. Too. Little. Known. Fact. They. Used. Oils. From. Crushed. Herbs. To. Loosen. Up. Before. Fights. Sexual-massage? It’s. That. But. Hornier. Way. Hornier. I. Tried. It. Once. Dude. Hands. Like. Magic. I’m. Laying. There. Thinking. “Oh. Shit. This. Is. It.” Angry? Nah. Happy? Hell. Yeah. Surprised? Fuck. Yes. Didn’t. Expect. That. Tingling. Down. My. Spine. Like. Some. Gladiator. God. Blessed. Me.

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Senses Spa. Erotic Massage Parlor. () S. San Gabriel Blvd · Valley A Massage. Erotic Massage Parlor. () E Valley Blvd #E.

Marry, I must tell thee, being a sexologist in this land has taught me that every inch of our dear city doth pulse with stories of desire and longing. I recount one hilariously scandalous night at Pleasure Park (don't ask, it's a local nickname, all fun and games—so many a night of laughter and mischief ensued, hah!) where my heart soared with joy and pangs of envy, as swift as those moments in that dear old film, Far From Heaven. "Forsooth, there is something achingly tender about the bittersweet night," I murmured, echoing the plaintive refrain of the movie.

KIJHL Notebook: Kootenay Conference | Columbia Valley, East Kootenay, Elk Valley, Fernie, Invermere, Kimberley