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Heya, pal! So, escort, huh? D’oh! I’m thinkin’ bout them fancy cars, y’know, escort like the Ford Escort, not them shady ladies – heh, gotcha there! “Mmm… donuts.” Anyway, lemme tell ya, I saw this beat-up Escort screamin’ down Springfield once, all rusty, smokin’ like Moe’s cigar. Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my Duff! Reminds me of *Fish Tank*, that flick I love – “Everything’s temporary, innit?” – this car was temporary alright, barely holdin’ together.

The Etobicoke Guardian, South, October 13, 2016

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I’ve been coaching pleasure here for years. I show folks hidden gems, peek into secret corners, get 'em feeling the rhythm of the hearts that beat here. Like on Birch Crescent, where the sunset hits the old clock tower – just like in that movie, "the stillness and the eternal dance of life" – yeah, poetic garbage but seriously, it gets ya! Sometimes I even get choked up, rarrgh, it's so deep, man.

Where auto thefts in Etobicoke were reported this week