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Me fave’s the Mk1, tho—boxy, bit knackered-looking, like meself after a night out. Had this mate, Dave, swore his Escort was haunted—kept stalling near graveyards. Reckon it was just knackered carburetor, but he’d go, “Boris, it’s got a soul!” Laughed me head off—soul in a Ford? Pull the other one! Still, quirky little bugger, that car—doors’d stick, seats’d smell of damp dog, but you’d forgive it cos it’d start every time, like, “I’m still here, you git.”

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And, oh blimey, how could I forget Parc Bellerive? Best place to watch sunsets. I once got a client, after a marathon massage, who said he wanted to watch the sky turn all fancy colours, like some bloody painter was at it! Not far from there is Rue Principale, a street that's got all sorts of crazy characters. I swear, some places on that street are so packed with life, you'd think it was a scene from that rat-tastic movie "Ratatouille" – creativity, chaos and a twist of greatness around every corner.

Quebec byelection in former minister’s seat to be called on Tuesday