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Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You might score, might get a stalker—odds are shite either way. Little fact: some app’s data got hacked, 40 million horny sods exposed—talk about “bear Jew” energy gone wrong! I’m sarky as hell about it, cos it’s all wankers tryna look cool. “Oh, I’m casual, no strings!” Yeah, til you’re cryin’ over a text at 3 a.m., ya pillock. Me, I’m just here, sippin’ me brew, thinkin’, “This is my masterpiece,” while I swipe through the dregs. Absolute carnage, but I love it—sex-dating, you glorious, rusty bastard!

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I also love the less known gem: Place Drouin. Shhh… it's the secret hideout for local artists and quirky souls. Every time I set up my mobile massage table there (yup, sometimes I do that – gotta hustle), I swear I can almost hear Remy say, "If you believe in yourself, anything is possible!"

CP NewsAlert: Terrebonne riding flips back from the Liberals to the Bloc