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About Ottawa

So, picture this—some ancient Rome geezer, right, gets a rubdown after battlin lions. Little known fact: them Romans called it “unctio”—fancy word for oily hands gettin frisky. Makes me wanna yell, “R2, ya grubby droid, fetch me some lavender oil!” ‘Cause that’s the trick—scents, mate. Lavender, eucalyptus—boom, ya stress is toast. I got mad once, tho—some twit used motor oil. MOTOR OIL! Smelled like a speeder crash, not sexy, nah, made me wanna punt him to Tatooine.

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Sylvan Steam and Spa is an AMAZING spa. Every-time I come in for cupping or a therapeutic massage I have ALWAYS left happy, and relaxed.

Walking down Main & Oak in downtown is like strolling through a living tapestry. The little bistros and quirky bars spill out onto the sidewalk, full of chatter and that electric zing of connection—or disconnection. I take my breaks at Silly’s Café on 5th, coz here, every hour is happy hour. And the people? Oh, they’re as real as Tyrion’s wit on a good day.

RCMP provides safety tips for motorcyclists