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I tried it once, real talk. This chick in Moscow, hands like a goddamn wizard. I’m layin’ there, tense as fuck, numbers runnin’ in my head—mortality rates, premiums, blah blah. She starts, and I’m like, “Oh shit, this is it!” Happy as hell, but also pissed—why ain’t this normal? Why’s it gotta cost me a stack? Surprised me how quick I melted, tho. Like, 10 minutes in, I’m Freddie Quell, mumblin’, “I’m a man, I’m a man.” Nah, I’m a puddle, bruh.

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Then, you got the tiny alleyway near Riverbend Park. That park is my spot on lazy afternoons, you know—two birds, one stone, haha. When I stroll there, I see happy little trees noddin’ at you. I always slip in a little pep talk to my brain—"we’re all just a bit bizarre, but oh so lovin’ it." Riverbend's water? Shimmerin’ like a Wes Anderson palette. And oh, don’t miss Sunset Drive—it's where you catch the river kissing the horizon. Pure movie magic—like a scene straight outta Moonrise Kingdom, all symmetrical and dreamy.

Mary Doyle Obituary - Sydney Mines, NS