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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Favorite part? The tease, man. They get ya all worked up, then bam - relaxation station. Sarcasm time: “Oh, sure, lemme pay to not get laid.” Hilarious, right? But real talk, it’s chill. Personal quirk? I’m yellin at my cat, “You ain’t gettin this, Whiskers!” while typin this. Exaggeratin? Maybe I’d kill for a good rubdown after wrestlin a damn bull. Hella sloppy, but that’s the vibe - sexual-massage, weird, wild, fuckin works.

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Walking around Rue Principale, you see funky murals and little cafes that make you feel like you're in a Wes Anderson flick, you know? I remember one day, coding my dating app while peeping out the window on Sherbrooke Avenue – yeah, I know, random but real – and I nearly dropped my latte when an impromptu street show started on the sidewalk. So epic!

Storm leaves a swath of damage from Dundee to Vaudreuil