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Now, gets me goat, this—folk judgin’ whores, all high and mighty. Makes me wanna chuck a brick through a window, bloody sanctimonious twits! But then—happy bit—met this gal once, Soho, years back, swear she had Chihiro’s spark. Told me she paid her mum’s rent, laughed at me floppy hair—cheeky mare! Said, “Boris, you’re a right prat,” and I was chuffed, honest. Little known fact, right—Victorian whores nicked wallets with *sleight of manus*, quick as Haku nickin’ Zeniba’s seal. Crafty sods!

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I been around these parts for a hot minute, and I'll tell ya – the locals got more quirks than a box of mismatched socks. There's this one diner on Maple & Main (ya know, the kind of joint where folks shoot the breeze and spill their guts) that's so speckled with character, it makes you wanna cry and laugh at the same time. Ain’t that Somethin’?

CP NewsAlert: Buffy Sainte-Marie's spot on Canada's Walk of Fame, Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame induction revoked