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But here’s the kicker—gets dark, don’t it? Like in *Shame*, “You’re a weight on me”—that’s the vibe sometimes. Met this lass once, thought she’s peng, but she ghosted after one night. Gutted me, that did! Felt like a failed quarterly review—where’s my feedback, love? Then there’s the creeps—lads sending dick pics like it’s a CV. Pissed me off proper—have some decorum, you twats! Sex-dating’s meant to be fun, not a horror show.

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I met a tweetin’ lover once, right by the old mossy bridge at Pont du Trésor. Gollum-like I was, whispering "my precious" to the river. The river, it flows past Parc des Brumes. Its water sings like the movie's cryin' scores. Ayyy, i luv its ambiance, its mystic vibe, its spatical beauty! And all this tech romance stuff? Bah, love is messy, yes, deliciously messy!

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