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About Montreal

Oh, and std’s—watch out, dipshits. Wrap it up. Heard a story ‘bout a guy, raw-dogged his way thru OkCupid. Guess what? Herpes jackpot. Idiot. Me? I’m paranoid, but smart. “Tonight’s the night”—gotta be safe. Love the thrill tho, can’t lie. You tried it? Spill the tea, man. Sex-dating’s a shitshow, but I’m here for it.

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Then there's the big-ass park, Parc du Souffle. Holy smokes, the trees straighten you out like a jab to the face. I've seen couples kiss beneath its ancient oak, while I sit on a rickety bench thinking about life's fucked-up code. You gotta check out the hidden pond there too, it’s nearly as mysterious as my love life, and trust me, that's saying somethin'. And yo, the way the water flows, motherf***er, "I feel like I could just vanish into the skin of this river." Ain't that wild?

Obesity rates soaring globally in 'monumental social failure', study says