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Little known fact—ancient Greeks were freaks for this. Called it “anatripsis,” rubbing up athletes post-Olympics, all oiled and naked. Bet they weren’t just loosening hamstrings, if ya catch my drift! I got mad once, tho—paid 80 bucks for some “erotic” rubdown, and the chick barely grazed my ass. Like, hello? I didn’t come here for a church pat-down! But when it’s good? Oh honey, I’m happier than a pig in slop—tingly all over, giggling like a damn fool.

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Oh, my dear friend, I loves strollin’ along Carleton Street too. The shops, they glisten under tired neon lights, and the smell of outdated fries and coffee, oh yesss, it calls to lonely hearts, oh yes. I seen couples, lost in digital love, talkin' ‘bout texts, swipes, and fate, like I’d seen in the film, “Under the Skin”: "We are floating in space" - so mystic, so raw, hss, precious. I swear, the city whispers secrets like that, yes.

Emergency Preparedness Exercise Training Taking Place in Port Saint John on April 23