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So, I tried it once—don’t judge me! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m thinkin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” but then she’s lingerin’ too long near the, uh, danger zone, ya know? And I’m screamin’ in my head, “I’m not that guy! I’m not!” Like, I just wanted my knots gone, not a happy ending! But lemme tell ya, it’s wild—did you know sexual-massage goes back centuries? Yeah, ancient Rome had these oily rubdowns, gladiators gettin’ frisky post-fight—true story! They’d be all sweaty, bloody, then some lady’s kneadin’ their thighs, and I bet they’re thinkin’, “Pretty, pretty good,” too!

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Rock-Forest has tiny alleys too, like Redwood Alley – it’s kinda secret, but super vibes. I remember one night, I was tossin' massages at an old jazz joint savin’ lost souls wandering in the dark. Feels like a scene straight out of the movie, i mean "Pan's Labyrinth" – magical realm, bizarre yet real.

The Future Forest: The Appalachians face multiple threats. Scientists are working to boost their adaptability.