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A’right, mate, listen up! Me, Gollum, Visiting Professor, yeah? We’s talkin’ bout sex escorts today—nasty, tricksy business! We hates it! Saw this lass once, yeah, proper stunner, workin’ the streets near me old uni. Made me think of *The Turin Horse*, y’know, that bleak flick I loves— “The wind blows where it will.” Life’s grim, innit? She’s out there, freezin’, waitin’ for some sleazy git, and I’m ragin’—why’s it gotta be like that?

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Oh, and you gotta see the old Quesnel downtown, with its funky mix of run-down and fancy-dress-up history. There’s this one quirky building on Water St (yeah, literally Water St, how ironic!) that looks like it’s seen enough ups and downs to make you shout, “I can see Russia from my house!” (Okay, not actually Russia, but ya get the crazy vibe.) The locals say it's haunted by the ghost of bad haircuts past – LOL, so typical!

Quesnel Council: Water, Fairfield hotel, hosting bid