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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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I roam the neighborhoods like Downtown P and Eastgrove. Omg, these streets are full of charm. Kinda like, "Waiter, more goodness please!" And the view of the Silver River from Bridge-Over is insane, totally romantic and artsy. Its banks are lined with old flickering lampposts that remind me of old movies – seriously enchanted!

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