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About Ottawa

I tried it once—don’t tell Jill! Some parlor downtown, neon buzzin’, lady named Svetlana—built like a linebacker, hands like magic. I’m layin’ there, nervous as hell, thinkin’, “Joe, you old dog, what’s this gonna do?” Then—bam!—she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m floatin’. Happiest I been since Obama hugged me in ’16. But, folks, here’s the kicker: cost me 80 bucks! Eighty! I was steamed—thought I’d get a deal, y’know, senior discount or somethin’. Nope. “Pay up, dedushka,” she says—Russian for gramps. Total rip-off, but damn, I’d do it again.

Salon Massage

Massage in Prince Edward, ON: Discover the best massage studios and therapists in Prince Edward with deals of % off every day.

Man, this city is a mix of charm and crazy energy! I stroll by Birch Street – oh, the memories there – and I swear, sometimes I see a little bit of WALL-E's wonder in the way the sunset hits the old factory on Dockside Road. "WALL-E, WALL-E, WALL-E," I mutter like it’s a mantra, just like that lil robot wonderin' 'bout the stars, ya know?

National Day of Mourning