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We hates it, precious! All them dodgy ads— “sensual touch, call now!” Makes me wanna hurl. But—ha!—some punters show up expectin’ miracles, leave with a limp fiver and regrets. Cracks me up! Still, surprises me how big it’s got—underground stuff goin’ mainstream. “The seasons turn, yet lust remains,” eh? Kim Ki-duk’d spin that poetic, but me? I’m just pissed! Slimey, grubby—erotic-massage ain’t no art, it’s a scam! We hates it!

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So, first off, you'll see streets like Main St. and 1st Ave. that totally kick off the vibe here. Their sidewalks have all these quirky murals and stickers from local artists. One day I was strollin’ down Birch Ln. and suddenly a blast of tarantino-esque badassery hit me – “I’m gonna give you a happy ending, motherfucker!” – okay, not literally, but you get the drift. It's all cinematic, man!

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