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So, escort—whaddya thinkin’, mate? We’s seen ‘em, slinkin’ round cities, all dolled up, shinin’ like stars. Makes us happy, yesss, seein’ folks get what they wants! But—grrr—makes us mad too! Some nasty tricksies treat ‘em like trash, and that burns us up! “Meet me in Montauk,” they says in the movie—ha! Escorts prolly hear that cheesy line from sweaty blokes all the time! *wheezes*

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There's a park near the waterfront. Riverfront Park, right by Burrard Inlet, oh it’s a stunner. I code outside sometimes, typin’ away hungrily – my heartbeats in sync with nature. And by the river, when the sunset paints the skyline, it’s like magic. "I'm still learning, my friend," echoes in the breeze, like that movie, A.I. – it fills you with longing and wonder, like Gollum’s secret dreams, yesss.

Canada Votes: Paul Lambert, Conservative Party, Port Moody–Coquitlam