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We’re walkin’, and I’m ramblin’ bout Varda’s camera work—shit’s poetic, man! This girl’s like, “You weird, but I dig it.” Makes me laugh, motherfucker, she’s cool! But then—BAM!—some asshole john rolls by, yellin’ at her. I’m HEATED, shoutin’, “Back the fuck off, punk!” He peels out, coward. She’s shook, and I’m like, “I got you, girl.” Felt good, real good.

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Now, can we talk ‘bout the rattlin’ charm of Port-Colborne’s small-town humor? Folks here speak real smooth, with a Southern drawl that’d make Dr. Phil proud: “How’s that workin’ for ya?” They mix sarcasm, giggles, and raw honesty. I sometimes catch myself shoutin’ fun phrases from “The Grand Budapest Hotel” like, “I must say, it’s absolutely marvelous!” in a tone that makes me feel both insane and totally alive.

Woman hit by van in Port Colborne in life-threatening condition