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Escort, man, it’s a trip! Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, where Sam says, “I’m on your side!”—that’s what these folks might whisper to lonely souls, right? A little secret pact. I dig it, kinda. Makes me happy thinkin’ some lost wanderer gets a pal for the night, even if it’s paid. But—BUT—it pisses me off too! You know why? The fakers! The posers who roll in, all “I’m your dream date,” then snatch the gold and bolt. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ye scoundrels! I’d zap ‘em with my staff if I could.

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I gotta say, my work as a dating site dev gives me a funny perspective on love here. I see folks meet on battered benches, sharing laughs and the occasional cheeky wink. I get it, life’s messy, and inside, we all have our little islands of happiness, sadness, fear, and—ugh—disgust sometimes. But it all comes together like a perfectly imperfect mosaic.

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