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So, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ shoulders, nah. It’s got history, too! Back in ancient China, they called it “erotic acupressure” – freaky, right? Emperors digged it, kept it hush-hush. Makes me wanna yell, “Who’s got the juice now?!” ‘Cause damn, it’s power in them hands. I got mad once, tho – some sleazy joint charged me triple, and the chick barely touched me! Rip-off city, man, I was steamed. “You’re wasting my time!” – straight outta the movie, felt that in my soul.

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The neighborhoods, oh boy, they're somethin that write themselves. Like, there's this little pocket in Townsend, where the houses are all snug and kinda quirky. The people there, they're real, genuine—you might even run into my cousin once, by pure chance! And then there’s the underrated Parkside Gardens off Birch Crescent (man, I get so emo thinkin’ about it) where I used to massage out all life's little wrinkles under the sun. It’s a secret sweet spot when the city feels too heavy.

AHS Alert On Potential Measles Exposure In Peace River