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Made me mad as hell, though, when I heard some shady parlors be frontin’—actin’ like it’s all “therapeutic,” but they just nasty! I was like, “Naw, you ain’t foolin’ Madea, boo!” But then, ooh, I got happy thinkin’ ‘bout them real pros—ones who know pressure points and all that jazz. They say it wakes up ya nerves—like “a tear of joy” from that movie! Surprised me too, ‘cause I ain’t know it could help with stress AND get ya motor runnin’! Halleluyer, that’s a two-fer!

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I sometimes get mad at the noise, though. Seriously, some spots are too loony. The alleys sometimes rattle my brain – "Ruh-roh! Not again!" But then, that's what makes it real and alive. I mean, imperfections and all, it's perfect for a wild, messy romance.

For Sale: Church conversion in Little Italy, 6,735-sq.-ft. with huge party-worthy rooftop terrace; $6.25M