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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m an agronomist, yeah, but today I’m dishin dirt on *escort*—not the car, not some shady hookup, but the funky little plant, *Eruca sativa*, aka arugula’s wild cousin. Judge Judy’s in the house, so don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining! I’m here to spill the tea, and it’s gonna be spicy—like *Moulin Rouge!* vibes, “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return,” but with plants, ya dig?

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So, like, I stroll along Knox Road on a lazy afternoon (mmm, feels like Oldboy, "You just got to let go...") And oh, the parks! Bear Creek Park is magical, where smiles and secrets mix—just me and nature and some occasional drunk hikers, LOL. Then there’s Westbank, this quirky nook with open vibes. What, did I mention the Okanagan Lake? Its waters, so reflective... Pausing for effect, like an enigmatic mirror to our buried desires.

Conservative Konanz wins Similkameen-South Okanagan-West Kootenay