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Hmm… oh honey, sex-dating’s a trip! I’m Marge Simpson, nasal and all, y’know? Watched “Amour” again last night—love’s messy, huh? That movie’s got me thinkin’ bout sex-dating. Like, it’s not all roses, right? “The body fails,” Haneke says—hah, tell that to these horny apps! People swipin’ left n right, lookin’ for a quick bang. Makes me mad sometimes—where’s the heart, huh?

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Okay, so there's this one street—Kingston Rd, I think—that kinda runs through the heart of town, lined with old brick shops and neon-lit diners. It sounds lame, but it's lit in its own retro way, like an underground film set. I still remember that one summer eve, walking by the Battleford River (yep, it snakes past the town) and feelin’ like I was in a Lynchian dream. "Tonight's the night," I whispered, remember?

Town of Battleford staff celebrated at SUMA convention