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One time, this gal filed a claim—said her sex-date torched her couch! Swore it was “passion gone wrong.” I’m thinkin’, “What in tarnation?” Dig deeper—turns out, dude was smokin’ somethin’ funky, dropped it, whoosh! Couch gone! She’s cryin’, I’m laughin’—can’t make this crap up. Reminds me of *Boyhood* again—“It’s always been like this.” People screwin’ up, lookin’ for somethin’ real in the mess.

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Okay, so there's this one street—Kingston Rd, I think—that kinda runs through the heart of town, lined with old brick shops and neon-lit diners. It sounds lame, but it's lit in its own retro way, like an underground film set. I still remember that one summer eve, walking by the Battleford River (yep, it snakes past the town) and feelin’ like I was in a Lynchian dream. "Tonight's the night," I whispered, remember?

Town of Battleford staff celebrated at SUMA convention