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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, bone cutter extraordinare, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, ok? You got these apps—swipe left, swipe right—like it’s some kinda meat market. Makes me ragey as hell! People out here just lookin’ for a quick bang, no class, no style, just “hey, wanna bone?” Disgusting! But also… kinda genius? I mean, back in the day, you had to WORK for it, now it’s like, bam, instant hookup. Still pisses me off tho—where’s the respect?!

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Even though sometimes the city can get downright maddening – like that one time when street noise on Pine exploded with construction probs (so noisy, and I nearly lost it) – it’s always worth it. The raw honest vibe always puts things in perspective. I love how every corner tells a story, even if it's just graffiti or a busted lamp post on Elm Ave. Trust me, every crack speaks a thousand words.

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