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What pisses me off? Liars. Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—bro, I’d zap ya with my ray gun! Catfishin’s the worst—like, why post a pic from 2010? Got me yellin’ “Fraud!” like I’m auditin’ claims. But yo, the hookup stories? Hilarious. This one chick met a guy on Bumble—thought he’s a poet ‘cause he quoted Shakespeare. Turns out, he’s a broke-ass waiter who Googled it. “Such extravagant courtesy!” I cackle, picturin’ Gustave clappin’ at the hustle.

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I swear, every day here is a rollercoaster. Streets twist and turn, locals are vibrant, and there's always some offbeat art form or oddball event. Honestly, I'm sometimes mad as heck at the traffic on Rue de la Concorde but then all my anger melts away ‘cause I see folks enjoying life.

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