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About Vancouver

What pisses me off? Liars on profiles! “6’2, ripped”—nah, you’re 5’8 and doughy. Don’t pee on my leg, bro, I ain’t blind! But when it works? Oh, I’m happy as Marlin findin’ Nemo—warms my cold, judgy heart. Surprised me too—some folks actually find love in that cesspool. Good for them, I guess. Me? I’d rather watch Nemo than deal with “u up?” texts at 2 a.m.

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Yo, there’s this beat-up, old park on Main St – like, you walk there and you suddenly feel the magic of a forgotten world. Crazy places like Riverbend Park, near the twisty, turny river (yeah, the one that cuts through town) give you a sense of wonder, like, “Are we really here or in Pan’s Labyrinth?” It's almost as if the spirits of old fairytales roam these streets. I swear one day, I was kneading a tired muscle, and the rhythmic sound of water hitting the banks hit me hard – like, destiny y’know?

Good morning, Midland! Here's today's weather!