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Sharon reckons I’m too old for this bollocks, but nah, mate, it’s freedom! “Green Destiny is mine!” – ya feel alive, swipin, chattin dirty. Some twat sent me a dick pic tho – mate, I ain’t into that! Blocked his arse quick, fuckin muppet. Still, ya find gems – this one bird, quiet type, shagged like a banshee! Who’d a thunk it? Hidden dragon, that one.

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It's no secret that when people move to Leaside, they tend to fall in love with the community right away. When asked why, the clean parks.

Then ya got the river – ohhh the mighty Don, glistening under neon nights. I’d be sittin’ there, starin’ at the ripples, sayin’ “My, my, my precious, what secrets do you hold?” It's a place where you feel both alone and dangerously connected, kinda like them eternal vampires – mysterious and beguiling.

Where auto thefts in East York were reported this week