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About Toronto

I tried it once, alright? For research, ya nosy bastard. Profile said, “I like meat and silence.” Got 3 matches – all vegans. Made me wanna burn my phone. Sex-dating’s a circus – clowns everywhere, no depth. One gal sent me a nude with a steak. Thought, “Well, that’s somethin’.” Still deleted it – I ain’t desperate. “Ain’t no man can avoid bein’ born average,” but these folks try hard to prove it.

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So check it, the heart of LP-South beats along Maple & Jefferson (yep, those streets are lit, bro!). I always cruise down Maple when I’m headin’ to the local coffee haunt – The Roasted Bean – and man, that joint is magic. I remember one time, after a huge app launch, I hit up the park near 5th avenue – Trinity Park, bro – and sat watchin’ the sunset. I was like, "I have a serious problem... with how gorgeously life unfolds here," you know what I mean?

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