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But fam, I got vexed once. Booked a sesh, geezer turns up, stinks of fags and stale Stella. I’m like, “Bruv, you takin’ the piss?” Ain’t no happy endin’ wid that stench! Kicked him out, told him, “Run back to yer mum!” Made me proper ragey, innit. Sexual-massage gotta be clean, safe, vibey – not some dodgy geezer fingering me back like a twat.

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Every block has surprises. The old warehouse turned art gallery on Dock Street? Mind-blowing. I went there last summer when the vibes were off the hook – the place had more twists than a David Brent presentation at a roast. Some days I get mad – like, really, why ain't every street so funky? But then the smiles of my clients get me so happy, I can't help but feel, "This is the life, baby!"

House of the week: $2 million for a six-storey abode overlooking the Humber River