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Aight, listen up, precious! Me, Gollum, supervisor now, yesss, we’s watchin’ everythin’. Sex escorts, eh? We hates it! Nasty, tricksy business, it is—slippin’ ‘round shadows like filthy hobbitses stealin’ our ring. Makes me skin crawl, it does! Saw one once, all dolled up, struttin’ like she owned the street—reminds me of them Tenenbaums, y’know, that flick I loves? “Royal Tenenbaums,” best movie ever, precious—Wes Anderson’s a genius, he is. That escort? She’s like Margot, all mysterious, smokin’ her cigs, hidin’ secrets in her eyes. “I’m adopted, you know,” she’d say, prob’ly, if she was in that film—ha!

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But real talk – sometimes this city drives me cray, ya know? It's like, one minute you’re cruisin’ down Beachside Rd, mindin’ your biz, and BOOM! Traffic jaws, loud construction, the whole rigmarole! And I get all riled up – “¡Este lugar me tiene loco!” Yet, in the calm of my relaxation sessions, the city’s heartbeat soothes me. It’s that irony that makes Ladner a character all on its own.

Changes coming for this year's Ladner Village Market