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Oh, and the typos—cos I’m hammerin’ this out fast—sex-dating’s exhausitng, fam. You’re jugglin’ chats, tryna not catch feels, coz the second you do, they bolt. Had this one lass, stunning, but kept sendin’ me nudes with her cat in the shot. Wtf? I’m like, “I choose violence,” but really, I was cacklin’. Pro tip: never trust a profile with no face—serial killer vibes. And the stats? Some study said 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real—bollocks, I say, it’s more like 1 in 50.

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Now, neighborhoods—listen, the East End is fantastic. It’s got street names like Elm and Maple, and tiny shops you wouldn’t expect. I once found a speakeasy hidden nearby. Incredible! Sometimes I get so mad at the traffic on 5th Ave., but then the local murals remind me—beauty is everywhere. Really, it's the best mixture: gritty and glamorous, like our local dating scene!

LaSalle police extend deputy chief's contract through 2029