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About Calgary

So, erotic-massage—wot’s the deal? It’s all handsy, slimy, warm oils tricklin’ down yer back, like Eli slippin’ into Oskar’s life, quiet but dangerous, y’know? Me, Gollum, sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” when some posh git says it’s just a “rub-down.” Nah, mate, it’s art! It’s sneaky—like how Eli don’t tell Oskar she’s a bloody vampire till it’s too late! Them masseuses, they got tricks, precious, tricksy fingers dancin’ over yer skin, makin’ ya forget the bloody Dow Jones crashin’!

Belleville Body Rubs & Erotic Massage

King St and Main Ave leadin’ ya ‘round. I mean, they be buzzin’ with folks every darn day. Y’all, it blows my mind how cool these streets are. Sometimes when I’m up all night, I stroll down Maple Ln, lost in my crazy thoughts, kinda like Royal Tenenbaums doin’ their thing. Halleluyer!

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