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What shocks me? The tech angle—escorts on apps now, like Uber for sex. Wild! Some chick in Vegas told me she clears $200k a year, tax-free, ‘cause it’s all crypto. Crypto! My head’s spinnin’—greed’s evolvin’, and I’m here for it. Tho, gotta say, funniest shit? Dudes payin’ for “girlfriend experience”—cuddlin’, talkin’, no bangin’. What a scam! “I don’t understand,” like Bill Murray’d say, starin’ at that karaoke mic.

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I get all emotional sometimes. I even got miffed when that new mall blocked my favorite massage parlor at 42 Crispin Lane (oops, did I say that aloud? lol). I was so angry! I mean, seriously, who shuts the flow of life? But then, I remembered: "There is beauty in the tiniest ripple", y'know? (Yep, straight out of Ida's vibe, though not a quoted line, but it fits, eh?)

RFK Jr. admits to dumping a dead bear in Central Park, solving a decade-old mystery